Image source: xovain
For most of my dating career, I’ve strode pretty quickly from one relationship to the next. Pride won’t keep me from saying I love the feeling of someone by my side. All in all, I crave the committed, intimate friendship that blossoms from dating. It’s comforting yet vulnerable, exciting yet scary, complex yet simple, effortless yet tremendous work.
However, for the past year, I’ve been single and it has taught me so much.
The most important thing I’ve learned is how to have fun no matter what. I’ve caught myself wishing someone was with me as I started a movie, went to the grocery store, or took a weekend vacation. But I’ve learned that these things are just as great solo. Learning to enjoy myself will make doing these things with the right person that much better.
The most shocking thing I’ve learned is that people treat singles differently. Has anyone else felt almost alienated – as if something was so outrageous with a person being single? I’ve been asked why I’m single, been told it’s time to get a boyfriend, and been forcefully introduced to random single guys for no reason other than friends wanting to play match maker.
I am single because I want to be. I am not looking for someone to simply fill the partner position. I am waiting for the person who is going to add on to my life abundantly.
Image source: Building 25
The harshest lesson I’ve learned is some people will make you believe they care about you more than they actually do. Whether intentional or not, these people feed you compliments, promises, and quality time. Then they vanish like a phantom. They leave no warning signs, explanations, or traces of regret. Just memories that make you wonder if it was all in your head.
Although this lesson was painful to go through, it gave me a new perspective on all my relationships. You can’t force someone to care about you, but you can be the better person by genuinely caring for them.
The past year has been a refreshing journey. I can’t say I hope it continues but I wouldn’t mind if it does either. My goal is to continue to become someone worthy of dating someone great. Life does not stop or start depending on a relationship status.
Remember to never stop improving. At the right place and time, your path will cross with another’s and it will be obvious that your paths are never meant to part after that.