This morning on my way to work, I was listening to the radio when a commercial came on that sparked a mini outrage in me. It was a man and woman bickering about paint colors or something of the sorts. The conversation, although way too cliché, was admittedly somewhat humorous but it was the end of the commercial that caught me. The announcer says “…they both learned a lot that day, but most importantly, Dan learned that a shopping day with his wife earns him a fun night out with the boys.” What?! I’ve heard things like this before but for some reason, this one floored me.
Allow me to break down my frustrations. First off, if “Dan” did not want to go on this shopping trip with his wife, he should have been an adult and said so. Am I right? Alternatively, if “Dan” clearly had no interest in going on this shopping trip, the “wife” should not have dragged him to do so and then “rewarded” him with a fun night out with the boys. A fun night out with the boys should be allowed no matter what. If you have a healthy relationship with the proper amount of time invested, nights out with friends should not be some sort of reward. This is simply childish that we think we need to be rewarded for good behavior and doing things we don’t want to do.
Now I understand that this commercial is fictitious, but does it hit home for anyone? How often have you heard or even said “I can’t tell my wife/girlfriend that!” or “My boyfriend/husband can’t know how much money I spent on that…” Too often I hear a person’s significant other talked about so poorly and wonder why they even bother putting up with them. If your relationship involves feeling more like you’re putting up with somone rather than enjoying having them around, there is a problem.
A relationship of any kind should be something you choose and enjoy being in. Not something you put up with. What’s the point? If you want to be single and free, you can be single and free. If you find a person who you want nothing more than to live your life next to, then be with them and do just that! Times won’t always be rockin’ and that’s ok! Be honest when these times hit. This “reward system” relationship quo just isn’t right. The person you are with should never feel they have to do something with or for you, and vice versa. If there’s a conflict of interest, express your feelings about it. If you choose to do it out of love to make the other person happy, that’s a different story. Trying to get something out of good behavior or putting up with your significant other is a waste of every one’s time.
Quite honestly, I’m sick of seeing people waste their own lives away and complaining about the status of their relationship. Quit acting childish and expecting rewards from one another. Look for someone who will be your best friend and then your lover. Stop doing what boys and girls do and start living your life and conducting your relationships in a way that makes you both happy. Men and women should be equal in relationships. Women should not be considered fun-suckers and men should not be considered lazy idiots. If you feel this way about the man or woman you are with, it’s time to re-evaluate a few things.